fucking tired, fucking funny, fucking wtf-_____-

hell as my day.
gue punya banayk banget kejadian yang rasanya pengen banget gue share.
mulai dari UN, hari terakhir UN, aktifitas yang rasanya nampol bener yang udah berhenti daaaaaaaan..... GAK JADI LIAT SUJU DARI DEKET DI BANDARA-___________________-

ck. yg terakhir gak asik ye. emang-__-
hari ini gue bener2 capek.
udah hampir 2 mingguan gue non-stop belajar buat UN dan segala hal tentang itu. gue bener2 capek dan gak mau berurusan lagi sama yang namanya buku.
gue enek bener deh ngeliatnya.
jujur, sekarang, gue ngerasa pengen banget muntah ngebayangin gue yang lagi belajar IPA-___-

sebelum UN, sekitar beberapa hari gue sama yang lain dikasih libur antara 3-4 harian dirumah abis istigosahan sama sekolah. dan selama libur, gue cuma belajar dan belajar.
baru banget melek, yang gue pegang? BUKU.
mau tidur, yang gue pegang? BUKU.
begadang, gara2? BUKU.

gue bukan kutu buku. dan gue rasa ini pertama kalinya gue belajar penuh soal UN dan sebagainya.
waktu SD gue gak pernah serius belajar, padahal sekolah gue ternama loh-____-
gak bermaksut belaga pinter atau apa, tapi yang jelas, sekolah gue waktu SD itu diisi sama orang2 pinter yang wtf dah pinternya-___- gue aja kaga pernah dapet ranking:p ssst...:p

dulu, waktu SD, UASBN gak begitu gue takutin. sama sih gue juga gak takut sama UN-__-
tapi, waktu UASBN beda, gue belajarnya dikit banyakan haha hihi huhu hehe hoho nya.
nah pas sekarang gue bener2 deg banget waktu guru gue bilang:

"kalo SD, kalian pasti LULUS semua. tapi kalo SMP, kalian bisa aja gak LULUS" - Lupa.

awalnya gue mikir, iya juga sih, rasanya waktu itu gue gak denger ada satu siswa SD yang gak lulus. 
tapi gue mikir lagi, rasanya SMP gue juga gak pernah denger ada siswa SMP gak lulus.
pas gue inget2, IN FACT, waktu gue kelas satu SETENGAH dari murid gastu gak lulus. ckck.
disitu gue inget dan gue ngerasa kaya "yah, lo emang gak pernah liat ada siswa SMP gak lulus di TV. tapi kenyataannya LU UDAH LIAT BANYAK BANGET YANG GUGUR, SAL" tapi mereka semua ikut paket C jadi yaa lulus semua gitu-__--

berhubung katanya tahun gue gak ada paket C, jadi gue ngejar luluslah. 
dan gue punya impian buat masuk SMA 8, yah untuk kedepannya, liat aja gue bisa masuk sini apa kaga-__-

dan tibatiba... jeng jeng....
GUE MALES CERITA. SUMPAH.

sampe sini aja deh ya. besok2 aja ceritanya. gak mood gua lagi kesel bener demi. lets stop this fucking day-___________-  

Yovie and Nuno - Sempat Memiliki

mengapa kita bertemu,
bila akhirnya dipisahkan?
mengapa kita berjumpa,
tapi akhirnya dijauhkan?
kau bilang hatimu aku
nyatanya bukan untuk aku

bintang dilangin nan indah
dimanakah cinta yang dulu?
masihkah aku disana
direlung hati dan mimpimu?
andaikan engkau disini
andaikan tetap denganku

aku hancur, ku terluka,
namun engkaulah nafasku
kau cintaku, meski aku,
bukan dibenakmu lagi
dan ku beruntng sempat memilikimu

bintang dilangit nan indah
dimanakah cinta yang dulu?
masihkan aku disana,
direlung hati dan mimpimu?
andaikan engkau disini
andaikan tetap denganku

aku hancur, ku terluka,
namun engkaulah nafasku
kau cintaku, meski aku,
bukan dibenakmu lagi
dan ku beruntung sempat memilikimu

engkau mengatakan,
merindukan diriku lagi
ingin ku sampaikan, ku tak hanya sekedar itu

Time to CURHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

kemaren gue nulis entri sampe berapa kali ya, intinya lebih dari satu. dan itu pertama kalinya gue ngepost lebih dari 1 entri selama sehari. ck. *blogger payah*
dan kemaren juga gue sempet nge post sesuatu tentang "sesuatu" *loh?* hehe. kemaren gue ngepost tentang apa yang gue alamin dan lagi rasain. kali ini gue ngerasa bener2 jauh lebih baik. gue gak mau nangis lagi:'D
gara2 gue nge post status kaya gini

seharusnya gue tau, kalo gue ngepost status kaya gini, yg ngebaca pasti lebih penasaran lagi kan?
dan kesalahan gue disitu.
temen2 gue jadi pada baca blog gue.
gak masalah sih, cuma, awalnya gue milih buat nge post atau curhat disini juga karna gue mikir gak akan ada yang liat kan? toh post-annya juga nanti gak akan gue share kok.
dan setelah banyak yg baca, gak lama gue dapet sms, chat, dll yang rata2 bilang

"SEMANGAT sal" :)

rasanya, gue gak bisa berhenti senyum ngeliat mereka bilang kaya gini.

ternyata, gue dikelilingin sama orang2 yang amat sangat sayang sama gue. so love salma :')

bangga deh rasanya jadi gue:')

gue seneng. sumpah makasih banget yak,

tapi gak papa kok, bener deh. gue udah gakpapa.

gue juga udah lupa sama dia, udah gak suka lagi sama dia:')

makasih. makasih. makasiiiiiiiih. <3

gue sayang sama kalian, mungkin lebih dari kalian sayang sama gue:')

beruntung banget sumpah gue punya sahabat kaya kalian <3

post lainnya next time yah. mau makan, mau sholat, abis itu ke NF deh -_____-

belajar..... lagi. *sigh*

 

Selena Gomez - Love you Like a Love Song

its been said and done
every beautiful thought's been already sung
and i guess right now here's another one
so your melody will play on and on
with the best of em
you are beautiful like a dream come alive incredible
a centerfold miracle, lyrical
you've saved my life again
and i want you to know baby

i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
and i keep hittin repeat peat peat peat peat oh
 i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
and i keep hittin repeat peat peat peat peat

constanlty,
boy you played through my mind like a symphony
there's no way to describe what you do to me
you just do to me
what you do
and it feels like i've been rescued
i've been set free
im hypnotized by your destiny
you are magical, lyrical, beautiful, you are
and i want you to know baby

i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
and i keep hittin repeat peat peat peat peat oh
 i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
and i keep hittin repeat peat peat peat peat

no one compares you stand alone
to every record i own
music to my heart thats what you are
the song that goes on and one

i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
and i keep hittin repeat peat peat peat peat oh
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song baby
i i love you like a love song

I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG... :')

 

Miley Cyrus - The Climb

i can almost see it
that dream im dreaming but
there's a voice inside my head saying
"you'll never reach it"
every step im taking
every move i make feels
lost with no direction
my faith is shaking

but i i gotta keep trying
gotta keep my head held high

there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes im gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast i get there
ain't about whats waiting on the other side
its the climb

the struggles im facing
the chances im taking
sometimes might knock me down but
no, im not breaking
i may not know it
but these are the moments that
im gonna remember most yeah
i've just gotta keep going

and i i gotta be strong
just keep pushing on cause

there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes im gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast i get there
ain't about whats waiting on the other side
its the climb

there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
somebody's gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast i get there
ain't about whats waiting on the other side
its the climb

keep on moving
keep climbing
keep the faith, baby
its all about its all about the climb
keep the faith
keep your faith yeah

Um...

abis ngebacot sebacot bacotnya wakil rakyat yang ikut pemilu *hehehe*
tiba2 gue jaid inget sama apa yang gue rasain. gue ngerasa bener2 pengen nangis.
but the point is, i dont know why.
gue gaktau apa yang terjadi sama gue dan apa yang bakalan terjadi sama gue.
entah mungkin gue punya something kaya bisa ngebaca masa depan dan yah.. sejenis itu.

gue ngerasa sedih banget sama apa yang gue rasain.
what the hell is it?! gue gak bisa ngerasain hal lain.
dada gue rasanya aneh. rasanya gue mau nangis sekenceng kencengnya.
tadi gue dengerin when you're gone nya Avril Lavigne dan tiba2 gue keinget muka orang2 yang sayang sama gue.
sebenernya dari kemaren gue juga ngerasa kaya gini. apa ya... kenapa ya... gue juga gak tau.

gue pingin nangis. yang kenceng. teriak. numpahin semua air mata gue biar mata gak ngerasa ada beban lagi.
gue inget gimana satu persatu orang yang gue sayang ninggalin gue.
ninggalin gue tanpa peduli sama gue.
satu persatu. setiap tahun. selalu aja ada yang ninggalin gue.
apa ya...?
hahaha hell banget dah ah. kaga ngerti gua juga.
oh iya, mungkin karna gue inget sebentar lagi gue mau perpisahan.
mungkin.

rasanya otak dan badan gue juga ngedukung hati gue. mau nangis. rasanya mau nangis.
gue inget masalah2 lama gue yang sukses ngebuat gue lebih kejer dari apapun waktu itu.
gue inget muka semua orang yang udah ngianatin gue waktu itu.
gue inget muka semua orang yang udah ngejahatin gue.
gue inget muka orang yang satu2nya pernah PHP-in gue.
gue inget gimana senyum orang itu buat gue.
gue inget gimana orang itu ngebujuk gue buat dateng ke pesta ulang tahun gue yang disiapin secara diem2.
gue inget gimana waktu dia bilang kalo dia sengaja dateng jauh2 cuma buat ultah gue.
gue inget gimana dia nelpon gue.
gue inget gimana dia sms gue.
gue inget gimana nyokapnya ngeledekin dia waktu dia kangen sama gue.
gue inget. gue inget. gue inget gimana dia ninggalin gue gitu aja saat gue udah mulai berharap.
gue inget gimana dia ninggalin gue waktu gak ada hal apapun yang bs jadi alesan kenapa dia ninggalin gue.
gue inget.
tapi sayangnya, gue gak tau kenapa sampe sekarang gue bisa nganggep dia brengsek.

udah lama banget dia ninggalin gue. sekitar dua tahunan.
dan sekarang pun, gue udah gak suka lagi sama dia.
walaupun gue udah suka sama yang lain, tapi tetep aja gue nungguin dia.
nungguin dia ngejelasin semua yang udah dia lakuin ke gue.
nungguin dia minta maaf.
gue bukan orang yang punya hati malaikat. tapi gue cukup sabar buat ngadepin orang kaya dia.
gue mendadak curhat ye:')? hahaha. biarin lah, blog gue inikan:'p?

*nyanyi lagu wish you were herenya avril*

huehehe. lebay ah.
gue mau nangis. tapi gak bisa nangis.
gue mau marah. tapi gak bisa marah.
oh, sally. you are so sad. sooooo sad.

gue masih nunggu hari dimana dia bakalan ngubungin gue lagi.
gue masih nunggu hari dimana dia bakalan sms gue lagi.
telepon gue lagi.
ketawa sama gue lagi.
ngirimin gue sms gak jelas lagi.
bujuk gue buat ikut ke surprise party yang udah dia siapin buat gue lagi.
ngeliat muka dia yang merah tiap nyokapnya bilang dia kangen gue lagi.
ngeliat dia yang salah tingkah tiap nyokapnya bilang dia kangen gue lagi.
ngeliat dia yang ngalihin pembicaraan dan pura2 gak denger tiap nyokapnya bilang dia kangen gue lagi.

i'll keep waiting. 

i don't care how long it is.

i'll keep waiting.

just to hear you say, "i'm sorry" :')

udah ah mau nangis nonton neh :')

11 April 2012

hey, mau curhat dikit gakpapakan?
udah hampir satu bulan full gue sama anak2 gastu lain di siksa sama ulangan
and fuck yeah itu full satu bulan.
try out, UAS, US, and the hell kind this.
gue bener2 capek sekarang.
sooooooo fucking tireeeeeeed. mungkin cuma 3 kata ini yg bisa ngegambarin
karna gue emang bener2 capek.
there's no time for a rest
abis US, gue tetep masuk. sampe UN nanti, pelajaran yang gue pelajarin cuma 4 mapel yang di UN-in.
jadi setiap kelas 9 punya jadwal baru dan setelah gue liat jadwal di semua kelas, rupanya tiap hari kita ada matematika (hell nooooooo). bener2 kacau abis.

bicara soal UN, gue bukan tipe anak pinter. apalagi rajin.
parah bangetkan? udh gak pinter, gak rajin lagi. ck-__-
tapi sumpah demi apapun gue mau banget masuk 8!
TO pertama, gue dapet peringkat 4 disekolah dgn rata2 6 *ck*
  > MTK : 5,25 *fck no*
  > IPA : 4,75 *haha-_-*
  > Bahasa Indonesia : 7,80 *lumayan*
  > Bahasa Inggris : 8,00 *msh jauh dr target gue*
nah TO ke dua gue dapet peringkat 8 dgn rata2 yg masih 6 *so sad*
  > MTK : 6,75
  > IPA : 5,75 *naik, tapi gak banget*
  > Bahasa Indonesia : 8,40 *fck yeah*
  > Bahasa Inggris : 6,80 *APAAPAANINI?!*

see? gue nurun banget di bahasa Inggris!!! dan sumpah demi apapun gue nyesel banget ngebuletin asal2an pas ngerjain T_T
ya gak nyesel2 banget sih. tapi sumpah deh itu gue lagi sakit jadi ya gitu. shit
penerunan drastis? KEREN ABIS. ck.
dengan nilai2 sampah itu, sekarang, GUE MAU MASUK MANA COBA?
so pasti, 8 gak bakalan nerima gue!! terus, gua masuk mana?
DEMI APAPUN GUE MAU MASUK 8 BENER DEH GAK BOONG!

gue nargetin sekarang gue harus belajar tiap hari! terutama IPA, ya Allah ini gue bego banget soal kertas basa disetrum sm listrik statis terus dimakan sm manusia kaya gini!
padahal waktu gue SD nilai gue jempolan semua! gak ada yg 6! bener deh! gue msh punya bukunya kok!
lah kenapa sekarang? well, perbedaan dulu dan sekarang. ck
seandainya Tuhan ngasih gue dua opsi:
  - pinter tanpa sekolah
  - jenius harus sekolah
gue dengan senang hati milih opsi pertama.
jenius itu freak. dari gambaran gue, setiap orang jenius itu make baju ijo, kacamata, rambut belah tengah, muka jerawatan, kalo ngomong gagu, gak asik dan yah *kebanyakan main bully*
gue gak mau masuk satu diantara mereka.

target gue untuk UN tahun ini:
 > MTK : 8,50 atau 8,00
 > IPA : 7,80 atau 8,50
 > Bahasa Indonesia : 9,00 atau 8,50
 > Bahasa Inggris : 9,50 atau 9,00

dan gue harus yakin gue bisa! ya, bisa!
bisa dalam waktu kurang dari 2 minggu lagi!
jauhin komik, tendang hape, usir facebook, lepas twitter!
grab buku bahasa, makan kamus, date sama IPA, cium matematika dan hasilnya pasti: YES, I CAN DO IT!

*semoga*

DO NOT EVER CALL YOURSELF A LOSER! YOU WILL DO IT CAUSE YOU CAN DO IT! CAYOOOOOOO!!!!

Evanescence - Call me When You're Sober

dont cry to me if you loved me
you would be here with me
you want me? come find me
make up your mind

should i let you fall? lose it all?
so maybe you can remember yourself
cant keep believing we're only deceiving
ourselves and im sick of the lie
and you're too late

dont cry to me if you loved me
you would be here with me
you want me? come find me
make up your mind

couldn't take the blame
sick with shame
must be exhausting to lose your own game
selfishly hated no wonder you jaded
you cant play the victim this time
and you're too late

dont cry to me if you loved me
you would be here with me
you want me? come find me
make up your mind

you never call me when you're sober
you only want it cause its over
its over
how could i burned paradise?
how could i?
you were never mine

dont cry to me if you loved me
you would be here with me
dont lie to me just get your things
i've made up your mind

Avril Lavigne - When yYou're Gone

i always needed time on my own
i never thought i'd
need you there when i cry
and the days feel like years when im alone
and the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

when you walk away i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now?
when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone the face i came to know is a missing too
when you're gone the words i need to hear
to always get me through the day and make it okay
i miss you

i've never felt this way before
everything that i do reminds me of you
and the clothes you left they're lied on the floor
and they smell just like you
i love the things that you do

when you walk away i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now?
when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone the face i came to know is a missing too
when you're gone the words i need to hear
to always get me through the day and make it okay i miss you

we were made for each other
out here forever i know we were yeah
all i ever wanted was for you to know
everything i do i'd give my heart and soul
i can hardly breathe
i need to fill you here with me yeah

when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone the face i came to know is a missing too
when you're gone the words i need to hear
to always get me through the day and make it okay
i miss you.

Taylor Swift - Back to December

i'm so glad you made time to see me
how's life? tell me how's your family
i haven't seen them in a while
you've been good busier than ever
we small talk, work and the weather
you're guard is up and i know why

because the last time you saw me
is still burned in back of your mind
you gave me roses and i left them there to die

so this is me swallowing my pride
standing in front of you
saying im sorry for that night
and i go back to december all the time
it turns our freedom ain't nothing but
missing you wishing i'd realized
what i had when you are mine
and i'd go back to december
turn around and make it alright
i go back to december all the time

these days i haven't been sleeping
staying up playing back myself leaving
when you're birthday passed
and i didn't call
and i think about summer
all the beautiful times
i watched you laughing from the passenger side
realized i loved you in the fall

and then the cold came, the dark days
when fear crept into my mind
you gave me all your love
and all i gave you was goodbye

so this is me swallowing my pride
standing in front of you
saying im sorry for that night
and i go back to december all the time
it turns out freedom ain't nothing but
missing you wishing i'd realized
what i had when you are mine
and i'd go back to december
turn around and change my own mind
i go back to december all the time

i miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
so good to me so right
and when you held me in your arms
that september night
the first time you ever saw me cry
maybe this is wishful thinking
probably mindless dreaming
but if we loved again i swear i'd love you right
i'd go back in time and change it but i cant
so if the chain is on your door i understand

but this is me swallowing my pride
standing in front of you
saying im sorry for that night
and i go back to december
it turns out freedom ain't nothing but
missing you wishing i'd realized
what i had when you are mine
i'd go back to december and make it alright
i'd go back to december and change my own mind
i go back to december all the time
all the time